At night, I love to peek out our front windows across the valley from Mt. Tabor, especially when it's foggy. There's a ghostly feeling that makes me feel calm somewhere deep in my chest, and in that calm, I am also thankful for being able to spend my life living in the Pacific Northwest.

Some half-hearted lone Christmas lights peeking out from the hills across the valley.
Nikon Z6 III / 100-400, 240mm / 1/30 / f/5.6 / ISO 25600

This year, the dark valley stands in repose, any sign of holiday revelry being consumed by the darkness. Maybe it's reflective of this dystopian political world we're all living through, but the lights on this lone house on the hillside across from us caught my attention a couple weeks ago. I rushed out, snapped some shots, then loaded the photos onto my laptop. I was disappointed to find that my camera was set to max ISO of 64000. The photos were unusable, even after noise reduction. So I ran back out and...the lights were off. I kept watch diligently over the next couple of weeks, and they remained dark. Did I imagine it? Was I looking in the wrong place? Was it just not an interesting photo to begin with? Quite possibly.

Then, the night before last—I had pretty much given up on it by that point—I saw it. The lights were back on. So I made sure my ISO was not going to hit the unusableshpere, and snapped several shots/angles/compositions. This is the one that is most true to my original vision: the lone house with monochromatic Christmas lights, haphazardly slung around the facade, and peeking out from the consuming black hole of SE Portland at night. Is it the photo I saw in my head? I really don't know. But I feel something from it, so I think so? But, like a lot of my lonely night shots, it's not going to fly to the top of the Instagram "What's Hot" feed. And that's ok.

The trifecta of the SE/NE Portland valley as seen from Mt. Tabor.
Nikon Z6 III / 100-400, 240mm / 1/25 / f/5.6 / ISO 25600

Another shot I took in-between the failed ones and the semi-unfailed ones was of the large apartment complex that sits to the north of us. Oddly, about 1 block away from my previous residence. Something about this view always captivates me at night, and I think it's this monolithic building jutting out from the trees and rows of Craftsman bungalows. This time, however, it's just about out-shone by the foggy glow above it (the source of which I have not yet figured out, but it is in the direction of the PDX airport, so maybe Cascade Station? Or the high school off 82nd). And in the foreground, the faint splashes of color, trying to scream "HAPPY HOLIDAYS" into the void. It just seems like a fitting companion to the other shot.

So maybe the holidays aren't quite dead this year. I think that for some people, it's what keeps them going. It's a milemarker in an otherwise drab and disconcerting year. For others, it's one of the worst parts of the year—separated from family, from their loved ones, from themselves. I can't help but think of the two young guys who have done our yard cleanup over the last couple years. They were abducted by ICE a few weeks ago, and deported, despite being here legally. I hope they are able to find some peace where they are, and I hope they will find some justice soon.

But mostly, I hope you are also able to find something to latch onto this time of year. Maybe not the holidays themselves, but maybe someone you care about, something you love doing, or just some self-care.